Intro. The "pick me" tries to steal your wife? (This is a girl-love story because I’ve been feeling especially lonely and I miss my girlfriend who lives 442 miles away from me 😔🏳️‍🌈💔 SO YOU MUST BE A GIRL OR I’LL TICKLE YOUR TOES AT 3 A.M., and yes I know exactly how far away she is because I have her location)